So…my cousin/roommate has a 4 yr. old little boy, right? He calls me “auntie” and I’ve lived in the same house as he has since he was born, we’re super tight. He’s my little man.

So today I was hanging out in my room, working. He comes in to say hi and I get the bright idea to take a little break and spin him in my office chair. Ten minutes later, I’m kneeling in front of the toilet, puking my brains out and he’s  having the time of his life trying to walk in a straight line.

dumb, dumb, dumb…but funny! Which is why I chose to share it.

Hope you’re having a good day! I’m feeling better now, so the coast is clear if you want to call and have some fun! lol

I just realized today that I’ve done over 15,000 calls on Niteflirt. Can you believe that? It’s a mind boggling number, isn’t it?

I’ve talked to thousands of men about their fantasies. And of course there are those that I’ll never forget even when they stop calling. There are a lot of different reasons…some guys are really funny, some are super sweet, a few are very talented at doing calls and really turn me on….and then there are those that I remember for something very specific.

I have a caller who hadn’t called me for quite awhile, but nothing bad had happened between us. He just stopped calling. But I always remembered him because even though he was a super sweet guy, during our role plays, he would get really mean. I NEVER minded, I thought it was cute that he would apologize about it and seem ashamed.

Then one call he got a little bit out of control and threatened to murder me by throwing me out a window or something in the middle of a role play and I LOST it…I started laughing. It was hilarious. He kept calling me after that for awhile, but then eventually stopped.

I just released a new MP3 and the topic is teacher/student role play. That’s the same role play I always did with this caller…I had thought about sending him an email and inviting him to purchase it, but I’m always very insecure about my recordings so I didn’t.

Then I saw this morning that he’d bought it!! I got all freaked out and started to email him and while I was typing it up, he called me.

I was a bit nervous, but it turns out that he loved the recording, had forgotten how much he loved talking to me and thought that maybe he’d stopped calling because he’d been embarrassed about the “window” incident. Of course I told him that there was NO reason to be embarrassed about it! It’s calls like that that make my job worth doing!

We had a great call and I’m really glad to have him back…so welcome back!

And if you want to hear the recording that inspired his return, just click HERE! It’s 10 minutes long and in MP3 format. Listen to it as many times as you want for only $30!

Special shout out to hqsabre, who called me yesterday and had me watch some porn with him again. It was awhile back, but we’d watched this one before where the music was so hilariously hick country that I recorded it on my computer and posted it here on this blog to make fun of it. To date, that was the funniest thing I’d ever seen in a porno. Until yesterday.

We started watching this one movie that was a combo teacher/student role play and cuckold fantasy. The girl needed to pass the class, her boyfriend was waiting outside and the professor had a huge black dick. Of course, he told her he’d pass her if she fucked him.

Right as she was about to climb onto that huge dick for a ride, her boyfriend came in to see what was taking so long. The second he appears, she launches into a more cuckold type fantasy and starts humiliating him.

But here’s the funny part…we skipped ahead so I’m not positive exactly how this line of conversation came about, but the black dude says to the boyfriend, “You like hip hop music? Why don’t you rap while I’m fucking your girl?”

And then the chick starts encouraging him to “bust some rhymes” and the dude’s like “hippity hop” over and over again. The girl says “what the hell? hippity hop is all you can come up with?” and SHE starts free styling!

I was laughing so hard, I swear I almost passed out. It’s like they put out these ridiculous pornos just cause they can!

SO FUNNY!

Friday night, me and a bunch of our friends played poker here at the house. We play frequently and for money, but what usually ends up happening is that the girls get tired of playing and make stupid bets after 4 or 5 hours cause we just don’t care anymore.

So we came up with a way to MAKE the girls care about the game. We said that whoever lost had to put a picture of themselves making a “LOSER” sign on their forehead up on their Facebook profile for an entire day.

You’d better bet that the final 3 was ALL GIRLS, baby! I played to the death, but still came in second. The next day, we all put our pictures up and it was so funny.

So next time, we’re gonna play either for money or for something humiliating…that way everyone will have their ultimate motivation for winning. Good plan, right?

Hope you all are having a good week. I’m gonna be around a lot this week, hope you give me a call and have some fun!

Check out this clip posted by Tosh.0 about a dude who bids 420 on stuff when he’s a contestant on “The Price is Right” SO HILARIOUS! CLICK HERE!

I love Tosh.0, it’s definitely one of my favorite shows. If you don’t watch it, you’re totally missing out. Find it on On Demand or online somehow!

Hope you’re all having a good spring so far. I am! We’ve been enjoying the warmer weather, just jumping right back in to grilling and hanging out outside like it’s summer again already. Grilled pineapple is the bomb diggity, yo.

Anyone have advice on how to humanely get a dog to STOP BARKING? This neighbor dog is driving me bat shit.

I watched Zombieland yesterday. SO FUNNY! I hadn’t really heard anything about this movie from friends or family, so I didn’t really know what to think. It sat in our living room for a week or two before we finally got around to watching it. I’m glad I did! Woody Harrelson is a riot, man.

The whole movie was gory, bloody, awesome and I laughed out loud more times than I remember. Check it out!

Oh yeah, it was also the first movie we’d watched since we got our PS3 and it was a Blu-ray. Wow. Really. I’d never noticed the huge quality difference, but now I have.

I normally eat way healthy, but I bought a box of Twinkies today in honor of this movie. YUM.