Occupational hazards
There are a few of them, I’m sure you all realize. I need to be careful that nut jobs don’t track me down and stalk me. I need to watch that I don’t become jaded about men in general when I get the 5th call in a row from a guy who tells me that his girlfriend has no idea he wants to get fucked in the ass by a huge cock (a cock that’s attached to a GUY). Or the 10th call from a guy who’s wearing his girlfriend’s panties, who again has no idea. lolÂ
I have to be careful that I don’t become complacent about my income and let it decline slowly because I’m not interacting enough with my callers. I have to be careful that I’m not BUGGING them with random emails about things and pissing them off. I have to watch who and when I tell what I do, because I’ll never really know what their reaction is going to be.
But when I came back to doing this in June, I wasn’t prepared for the most recent occupational hazard I’ve come across….the state of my emotional health. And let me clarify.
I’ve had quite a few good callers (and when I say “good”, I’m not only referring to amount of time or money spent on me, but whether I enjoy the calls), come up with girlfriends lately and stop calling. I weathered it ok when it was just one here or there…but it seems like lately if I start to like doing calls with a guy, he’ll inevitably get a girlfriend within a few weeks. So if you’re reading this and you’re single, feel free to call me and test my theory!
My fave caller of all time (sorry to offend any of you, but it’s true) just disappeared over a month ago. Stopped calling, stopping IM’ing. I had seen him online a couple of times and he hadn’t answered me when I tried to message him so I started thinking that he was mad at me for some reason. Yesterday he finally answered. He told me that his computer had been down so that’s why he hadn’t really been online and then told me that YEP, he has a girlfriend now.
My heart HURT. Yes, I know how ridiculous I’m being. Not like I’d made plans to go see him, not like I was in love with him….I really don’t know how to explain it. I AM happy for him. He’s a great guy and the girl he’s with is very lucky to have him. I’m just jealous!
And it’s not just him. I’ve had quite a few other guys just DISAPPEAR on me who were not only frequent callers but who had chatted with me VERY regularly, even daily. They’re just GONE.
I know some people (yes, I’m aware that other PSO’s read my journal)Â are probably reading this and saying, “So what? They don’t owe you anything!” I KNOW that. I can say to myself, “Who cares? Let them go on with their lives, they don’t owe me an explanation or even a goodbye.” But I don’t FEEL that.
So what’s my point? I have 2 of them. Most of the guys who leave and eventually come back and tell me that they’ve got a girlfriend and that’s why they’re not talking to me anymore say that they’ve continued to read my journal. So if you’re one of the guys who has totally dropped out of my life, but you’re still reading my journal, this is what I have to say to you. “I was a friend to you when you needed one. I think our relationship went beyond that of caller/PSO and I was hurt when you didn’t say goodbye. I feel like you didn’t really think of me as a person when you were able to just cut me off like that. Please at least let me know how you are and say goodbye if you don’t want to talk to me anymore.”
And secondly, if you are a current caller and think that you might be inclined to just disappear if you get a girlfriend, remember what I’ve said please and give me the respect of telling me what’s up. I can’t chat with you for 5 hours a day for 4 months and then not wonder what happened when you just stop coming online. I’m a real person.
Thanks for letting me get that off my chest. I’m sure I’ll feel completely fine soon. I hope you don’t all think I’m psycho! lol
Last night was slower than other recent nights, I think everyone is starting to go back to work. I’ll be on all night tonight, hope to talk to you soon!
Shout outs for 12-26 and 12-27: Had an hour long chit chat with my ex Navy guy. I’m not scared of your big cock….haha A great call with a guy who’s called a few times before who said “OMG, EVEN MORE AWESOME THAN USUAL!!!” Wow, there must have been something in my water that night! lol Sweetie whose name starts with “L”…our 6th call and it’s still hot! It still shocks me when you get hard core on me though after sounding so sweet during the “hello” heheh panty boy called again…getting sluttier every call and that was # 115! Oh wow, an AMAZING call with a guy from Boston who’d called me before a couple of times. He turned me on so bad I never wanted the call to end and he ended up having TWO orgasms. This is what he said in his feedback, how fucking cool! “Nikki is the first woman to ever get me to cum twice in one call” My sweetie that I share a cabin with finally called again. I had missed you a lot. You make me laugh so hard, I absolutely love it. Lawyer from Manhattan…how do our calls end up with such interesting and deep conversation? You pull my little pony tails and make me your princess and then we discuss why Christmas is on the 25th? I hope you have a WONDERFUL New Years, complete with girl kissing at midnight. A super hot new caller from San Diego who is a SURGEON has called me a few times in the past couple of days. Hot voice, great conversation, great sex! What more could I need? My new sissy pink panty boy called again too. Poor guy, his pee pee is so small, I’m surprised he can even find it!
